Have you ever had the feeling that someone is standing directly behind you?
You turn to look and nobody is there, but you still have that feeling?
Well over the next few weeks that feeling dogged my heels. I would wake up at night expecting somebody to be sitting by the bed.
Driving down the road I would suddenly turn and look over my shoulder. With the distinct impression that someone almost touched me. There was a feeling like somebody was standing behind me, waiting.
Finally the dream started.
At first, it was just a hazy misty dark forest.
Eventually, a form emerged walking towards me.
I would hear my name being whispered with urgency.
A rustling would start. Then a breeze.
The breeze would turn into a strong wind.
The trees would start fraying around the edges and coming apart like sand.
The figure would hold its hand out to me. Then the figure would start to blow away.
I knew at that moment that if I allowed that figure to blow away, all hope would be lost forever, and for everyone everywhere. I would reach toward that unknown form and start to run to it.
The figure would start screaming. I would start screaming.
Then I’d wake up.
Echoes of this dream would haunt me all day long. I would see its shadow and everything. A mother reaching her hand out to her child. Leaves blowing across a back country road. Even someone holding the door open for me. All of it brought me back to the dream.
I decided it was time to get help.
Now when I say help. I don’t mean the charge you by the hour kind.
I mean I have a friend who is just a few hours from her psychology degree that has a talent for listening and isn’t judgmental. She is also not likely to have me locked up.
When I have horrible problems that disturb and upset me I buy a large cheesecake, rent a movie and go veg out on her couch. Eventually she asks me what’s wrong and I tell her everything. She’s a really good friend.
Anna and I knew each other as long as I can remember. We were nodding acquaintances for years until we ended up neighbors for a while. Now we are bosom friends.
Her very wise a professional opinion.
Was that I was overworked. Over stressed, and in need of a vacation.
After many more hours of Chocolate drenched tear wrenching “therapy” I called my boss and told him I needed a break.
He asked me to come in and talk to him. So we scheduled a meeting, and he scheduled me a load in.
He was understanding and appreciative of the miles I had put in lately. He decided to give me a week, off and in an uncharacteristic act charity decided to cut me a check for a paid vacation. Between me and you I think he was afraid I was going to go work for another company.
This was bribe money. I was his number 1 source of revenue and we both knew it.
He left the room to go get a check
I was left alone. Suddenly the goose-flesh was back. Oh no damn you! I thought, Not here! There they were! The Eyes peeking out of the supply closet. I decided to take action. I got up and moved slowly towards it. I reached out and swung the door open. Nothing was there. I spun around! They’re under the desk, looking as amused as a pair of eyes could! I ran to that side of the room. I got on my knees to look under the desk.
That’s how my boss found me. On all fours with my butt in the air. Talking to myself.
He looked like he didn’t know whether to be amused or concerned. He didn’t give me any more trouble about my vacation though.