Flash Fiction Friday: Poor Verdin!


This is my post for Flash Fiction Friday. Join in here: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/photo-prompt-for-the-friday-fictioneers-100-words-join-us-friday/

Water!
Where does it come from?
I’ve built my nest here my whole life!
This is ancient tribal nesting grounds!
This water doesn’t belong.
She was almost mine!
Her admiration of my bright yellow visage and striking red wing feathers was obvious.
I’m a mighty hunter of spiders, and provider of berries.
None better!
She left though.
Accepted that dull feathered fool.
Just because he built in a hollow!
Branches were good enough for my ancestors.
Where’d the water come from?
This is a desert! No water!
How was I supposed to know?
Next year I get a hollow!
Water!

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Categories: Flash Fiction Friday | 33 Comments

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33 thoughts on “Flash Fiction Friday: Poor Verdin!

  1. This was really good, the indignant protestations of the Verdin (which I had to google incidentally – I love the way I learn new things on these prompts. The voice was exceptionally good, very convincing. Really well done. Have I told you I love your cat, by the way?

  2. Dear Amanda,

    A perfect tale, unique and original, bookended by Water! Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. The narrator, the Verdin, is so forceful in his speech, perhaps to reflect the indignation and unfairness of losing his love to that dull feathered fool, just because he built in a hollow! LIfe is so unfair and I could not help laughing at the humour. I find it so refreshing that your characters are birds, speaking at us humans of the absurdities and unfairness of life. This is great, Doug.

    Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-diamond-tear-drops/

  4. The water be damned!

  5. William Stadler

    Nice tone from the verdin haha.

    http://wstadler.com

  6. Brilliant. I could just picture him. Very indignant and rightly so.

    Here’s mine
    http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-story-2-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/

  7. Your tone and voice are perfect! I could absolutely feel the indignation of the bird and his frustration. well done!

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/

  8. A light-hearted tone throughout, despite the harsh result for the poor bird. I liked how the first “water!” denotes a sense of wonder and puzzlement, whereas the second usage somehow becomes a cry of rage and frustration. Nice.

    My link is this-a-way:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-death-and-life/

  9. TheOthers1

    Lol. I imagine a bird thinking this way. Frantic, urgent, angry when agitated. Nice work on this.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/water-the-earth/

  10. Lora Mitchell

    Like Sandra…not until I googled Verdin, did I understand your delightful piece. I also love learning new things from these prompts and other writers. NIce work. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

  11. Love it! Food and pulchritude were no match for shelter and security.

    Here’s my story: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3Z

  12. Such a clever story. I found myself just as confused and indignant at the little bird. Poor guy. Life as a bird came through amazingly clear in this. Great share.

    Here’s mine:http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/04/friday-flash-fiction-goo.html

  13. EmmaMc

    Great tale and so original. The voice was perfect, good work.

  14. I appreciate the POV from the verdin. Very creative and effective. Great story! Thanks for stopping by and reading my attempt

  15. Love the POV of the intrepid bird, looking to impress a mate. Those fickle females.

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneer-5/

  16. I love how the chant of the word water is like a bird’s call! Very funny!
    Here is mine!
    http://susielindau.com/2012/04/20/what-the-150-word-flash-fiction/

  17. Haha! I could totally see a bird thinking like how you portrayed it in your story. Wonderful take on this beautiful prompt.

    Here’s mine at: http://the-drabbler.com/splat/

  18. That’s exactly how I imagine birds think. Their arrogance and quick little thoughts come through in your writing. I liked this a lot.

  19. Hello,

    I thought the Vermin got caught that’s why he’s surprised with his habitat. But when I googled the nature of the bird, that’s when I understood it better and even got it’s humor at the end. Better to get a hollow next time. I like it.

    Thanks for your visit at my site.

    Allen

  20. Madison Woods

    You captured the voice of little bird perfectly. I enjoyed it!

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